Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Randomize