there's paper in my vomit.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
