She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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