I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
