Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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