dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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