I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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