I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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