it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
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I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
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I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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