Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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