If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
