Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
