If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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