I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
