I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize