Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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