you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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