A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
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When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
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sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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