I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Randomize
