maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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