garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
