Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So vagazzling was a success
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
