he wants to bone in the snuggie
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
