you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
