why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
