This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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