I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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