That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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