i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just pee around me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
