yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
