She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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