I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
