what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
