So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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