I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
