i just google imaged poop.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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