I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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