Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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