@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
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You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
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I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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