My room smells like vodka and shame
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
