you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
