come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
