my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
