no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
