we're blogging at a bar
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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