Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
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U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
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I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
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