Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
