he wants to bone in the snuggie
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
