I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
