Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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