I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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