im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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