I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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