A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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