OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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