just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Your dad touched me again.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
