It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
