I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
