oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
