At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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