hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
